Healthy Grief

Perform a literature search on the grieving process. Focus on the work of K’bler-Ross’
grieving process and the stages of grief.
Review the story of Job in the Bible, focusing on his suffering and grief. Examine how
this story correlates to the grieving process defined by K’bler-Ross.
In a paper of 750-1,000 words, include the following

  1. Compare and contrast the grieving process as defined by K’bler-Ross and the story of
    Job with that of at least one other religion.
  2. Compare the relationship and interaction between joy and the above grieving models
    and examples.
  3. Relate your research to your own preferred method of handling grief. State whether
    your research has changed your view of grief.
    Prepare this assignment according to the APA format.

Healthy Grief

Kubler Ross model of grieving indicates that there are five stages of healthy grieving. Grief is
a natural response to loss of people or things that one treasures. People may experience two types of
loss depending on whether they experience the loss from something physical or something abstract
taken away from them. The five stages include denial, acceptance, anger, bargaining, depression and
acceptance. Kubler Ross indicated that people experience the feelings in the different stages in unique
sequences (Lim, 2013).
The first stage is denial where one may indicate that they feel fine and may be in disbelief of
the reality of the loss (Lim, 2013). This is a temporal defense that allows the person to survive the
loss. People express the feelings consciously and unconsciously. The second stage is the awareness
that the situation has changed certain aspects such as the fact some individuals have been left behind.
(Lim, 2013) The person realizes that the denial should not continue and they begin to actualize their
level of attachment to the subject. The person may start to ask why them. How could such a thing
happen to them and who may be to blame for the loss. The person is enraged, jealous and envious and
becomes difficult to deal with. The third stage is bargaining whereby the person seeks to substitute the
pain of the loss (Lim, 2013). They also wish that they could postpone the feelings of the loss. If the
person is terminally ill, they may negotiate for a longer life or a delay in death in order to share certain
experiences with their loved ones. The person knows they would eventually die but could be asking to
just have a little more time. The bargaining does not often lead to concrete solutions.

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The fourth stage is depression where the person feels emotionally overwhelmed by the loss
(Lim, 2013). They experience frustration, hopelessness and they mourn because of the loss in the
hopes, dreams and aspirations. They feel numbed and lacking in control. The person may miss the
subject and may feel like life is not worth living anymore. The dying person may disconnect from
people and spend much time crying. They disconnect themselves from things that offer affection and
love and it is important not to try and cheer them up as it is an important part of grieving. The final
stage is where the person accepts the loss by acknowledging that it was not their fault (Lim, 2013).
They understand human beings are mortal beings and death is inevitable in some circumstances. For a
dying person, they acknowledge that they may need to prepare for death, as death is inevitable.
When Job realized that all his children had died, he was in denial because he shaved his head
and worshipped God as if nothing had happened. He also said that the lord had given him and now he
has taken away. He was trying to detach himself from the immediate effects of the loss and to
minimize the intensity of the feelings of loss in Job 1:21-22. In chapter seven Job is angry about
painful sores on his body and the loss of everything he owned. He says that he would not refrain of
speaking about his anguish and says that he would complain about the bitterness of his soul in Job 7:

  1. Job also seems to be bargaining with God to take away all his pain and anguish when he states that
    he does not deserve it all. He indicates that God has multiplied his wounds without cause in job 9:
    17.Job was depressed about the loss of his offspring and property and this is evidenced through his
    behavior. For instance, his friends sit with him in silence for seven days and nights. The fact that he
    sat silently is an indication of withdrawal, which is characteristic of a depressed state. His anger is
    evidenced by the way he cursed the day that he was born. He also curses the day of his conception.
    This indicates such strong anger for his existence and his wish for death. Such anger is characteristic
    of depression. Job later accepts the situation and is no longer angry towards God. He abhors himself
    and repents in his dust and ashes in Job 42: 6. When he prayed for his friends in Job 42: 10, God gives
    him twice as much as he owned before the loss.
    Job’s story resonates with the Quran chapter 39: 42-52 which indicates that Allah takes away
    the souls of men when they die by his sovereignty. It indicates that Allah is the originator of the
    heavens and earth meaning that he holds the power over life and death. The two stories have a

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commonality in the sense that when people die, acceptance is vital in the grieving process. People
require accepting that it has indeed happened because man is mortal and God has sovereignty over life
and death.
The grieving process outlined in the model indicates that joy can only be attained when the
grieving person accepts the loss. They experience the freedom from frustration, hopelessness and
feelings of lacking control. They also become free from anger outbursts, denial and continuous
bargaining. Joy comes when they acknowledge the reality of the loss and begin to prepare to cope
with life without the subject of loss. This gives the person a sense of control and stability that is
characteristic of joy.
The study of the model has been influential in indicating that it is all right to feel hopeless,
frustrated and out of control upon a loss. It has been taboo to allow myself to drown into a depressive
mood after a loss and this is also evident when friends also try to cheer me up upon losing a loved
one. The research has shed light on the fact that it is unnecessary to try cheering up a person who may
be going through a grieving process. It is also important to allow the person to experience all the
stages of grief including anger and withdrawal, as they are important aspects of the healing process.

Healthy grief 4


Lim, W. M. (2013). Revisiting Kubler Ross’s Five Satages of Grief:comments on the Iphone

  1. journal of Social Sciences, 11-15.