Assess the paper on the following content:
1.Does the paper provide sufficient evidence for its hypothesis or claim?
2.Does the flow of the paper and sentence structure make sense?
3.Should it be organized in a different way?
Health Care Provider and Faith Diversity:
Health care professionals encounter people from many different walks of life each day. These people may be from different parts of the world, they may speak different languages, and they may practice different religions too. By taking the time to understand other cultures and religions, health care professionals can deliver the best possible care to those that are recovering and also to those that may be nearing the end of life here on Earth. This paper will compare Christianity and Buddhism. Christianity and Buddhism are two very popular religions in Hawaii and the health care worker would benefit from knowledge of both religions.[u1]
Christianity is a religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ during his earthly life more than 2,000 years ago. The teachings of Jesus Christ are documented in the Bible with the followers of Jesus Christ known as Christians. Christians believe that although each person is unique in creation (no two people are exactly alike),[u2] God loves each of them equally. They also believe that God has a predestined plan for each and every one of them, just as he had a plan for Jesus. Christians consider it of utmost importance to treat others just as Jesus did – to show kindness to others, even your enemies, and to always speak the truth. The Bible says in Luke 6:27-28, “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (New International Version).
Although God no longer has a physical presence here on this earth, he does desire to have a relationship with each person. In order to have a relationship with Christ and to be sure one is heaven bound after this life, one must confess his or her sins and acknowledge Christ as Lord and Savior. Christians believe that God is ever present and deeply cares about what is going on in their day to day activities. He knows when people are sick. He knows when people choose to do wrong. He allows people to experience trials and challenges in life as a way to help build their character and their faith in Him. [u3]
When Christians get sick or have family members who are sick, they pray. Christians value quiet prayer time. Prayer is a form of communication with God that gives them hope. They ask for healing (Cunningham, 2006). They ask for God’s best in their life. Even though they may not always be healed, they believe that God is in control and God sometimes decides to grant eternal rest in heaven over healing. Earth is seen just as a temporary home. Most Christians do not fear death. However, they do fear what may happen before death – they fear suffering an illness or feeling pain prior to their passage into eternal life (Thornton, 2016). [u4]
When a person takes his or her last breath in this world, they may be dead on Earth, but very much alive, well, and whole in Heaven. Death reunites believers with Christ. The suffering and pain that they may have experienced while here on Earth was only temporary and is no more. In Heaven, all they will know is joy. For those unremorseful sinners who chose not to believe and denied God, they go to Hell.
Unlike Christianity, Buddhists do not serve a god[u5] . Rather Buddhism is a combination of traditions and beliefs incorporated with spiritual practices. The teachings of Buddhism are largely attributed to Gautama Buddha. Buddha meaning “the enlightened one.”
The Buddhists do not believe that people were created by God. Instead, they believe in evolution. Evolution is the theory that states today’s human beings originated from simpler life forms. These simpler life forms began as very primitive and continued changing in order to adapt to their environment.
Buddhism teaches how to reach a state of enlightenment. Enlightenment is an awakening of an awareness. Buddhism has four Noble Truths. The first Noble Truth is the truth of suffering. The second Noble Truth is the truth of the end of suffering. The third Noble Truth is the truth of the end of suffering. Lastly, the fourth Noble Truth is the truth of the path that frees us from suffering.
Buddhists value mindfulness. They like tranquil, peaceful, and quiet environments for meditation. Buddhists usually want to experience the moment. The writer has had many Buddhist patients and observed that most of them refuse pain medication. A Buddhist coworker of the writer mentioned that most Buddhists do not want pain medication because they would like to be fully alert and pain medications usually make them groggy and sleepy. Complete awareness is an important part of Buddhism (Ehman, 2012). The use of incense is another important part of Buddhist rituals.
Other considerations for Buddhist patients include diet, modesty, and emotional reservation. Most Buddhists are vegetarians and refuse dishes containing meat. They are also very modest. They prefer health care providers of the same gender if possible. Buddhists are also emotionally reserved people. Most Buddhists even distance themselves from someone who is dying. This is done in order to allow the dying person an uninterrupted transition into death. After a Buddhist person has died, they also believe that the body should not be touched or moved immediately because rebirth does not occur instantaneously and any disturbances could prolong the process.[u6]
The writer is Christian and is therefore familiar with Christian values. Learning about Buddhism enabled the writer to have a deeper understanding of a religion different from his own. By knowing what other cultures or religions practice, health care professionals can be more appreciative of the world’s diversity and to remember to be respectful when one’s beliefs may greatly differ from your own. One similarity that stood out for both Christianity and Buddhism is the need for quiet time to pray or meditate. This illustrates the importance of hospitals providing a quiet environment and minimized distractions during recovery or at the end of life. Comparing these two religions allowed the writer to see the differences and similarities.[u7]
- This paper captures the subject of discussion by providing sufficient evidence for its hypothesis. However, it is important to develop a strong thesis statement of the paper. The body of the paper then builds from the thesis by stating a point and providing supportive evidences in every paragraph.
- It is also important to consider that paper depicts a solid flow of thought. The sentences provide a complete thought on the subject. In advancing this paper, there is need to consider the use of compound sentence structures to support the argument.
- The entire paper does not need to be organized in a different way. However, the student would make some slight changes that include the building of a stronger thesis on the subject.
Cunningham, W. R. (2006, February 26). A Christian perspective of healing: Part 2.
Sermon, Pursuing the Truth Ministries. Retrieved March 6, 2016 from
Ehman, J. (2012, May 8). Religious diversity: Practical points for health care providers.
Thornton, S. (2016, March 6). The word of victory! The seven greatest words of love –
Part 6.Sermon, East Valley Church of the Nazarene, Apache Junction, AZ.
[u1]Your introduction is captivating with a well-developed thesis statement that captures the papers body and conclusion.
[u2]This statement drives home the point. Every paragraph giving strong points. Additionally, the paragraphs clearly build on each other and supports the thesis and are related to the main idea of the paper. It would be essential to add some bits on the aspect of faith and diversity as viewed by both the faith and capitalize on this.
[u3]This clearly provides sufficient evidence of faith and diversity in accordance to the Christian faith and captures the elements of Christianity and their beliefs.
[u4]More evidence is provided with this thought building on each and every paragraph. Incorporation of a comparison of this faith and the Buddhists faith would is considered. Good incorporation of citation to acknowledge the views of other authors.
[u5]Good comparison between Christianity and Buddhism thus relating to the thesis of the study. Clear break down of the points that give a different view between the two faiths.
[u6]This whole statement is provides evidence for its hypothesis or claim. The statements discuss the subject of study and tackles the thesis and the subject of study. An effective analysis of these two religions is incorporated to compare both these faiths and their beliefs in relation to care and how the care givers can assimilate some of these views within care.
[u7]The conclusion summarizes the content of your paper and captures the entire thought. A good conclusion gives a depiction of how your findings can be applied in enhancing the process of care.